9 Things Your Fellow Marathoners Won’t Tell You Before the Start of the Race

There are many things your fellow marathoners won’t tell you before the start of the race.

Are you surprised by this?

Did you ever see the episode of The Twilight Zone in which the lead character could hear what the other characters were thinking? Although it seemed initially attractive to the lead character, this “skill” soon became a nightmare.

Still, most of us want to know whether we are offending those around us, and you may wish that you could go outside societal norms to tell your fellow endurance athletes what YOU are thinking.

With those two goals in mind, here are 9 things your fellow marathoners won’t tell you before the start of the race.

1. Please invite your family and friends to the race.

Elite runners will say after a marathon that they drew motivation from the spectators. Well, the rest of us do, too. So, even if you train alone, please ask your family members and friends to show up to watch you. Otherwise, we all may as well be on another training run.

2. Please come prepared for the race.

There is nothing quite as demotivating as seeing fellow marathoners dropping by the wayside during the race. Be prepared. For example, one year around mile 19 of the Chevron Houston Marathon I heard some medics discussing how around mile 10 they had to take a guy to the hospital because he thought that consuming several cans of Red Bull that morning was all he needed to prepare for the race. Don’t be that guy.

3. Please wear a pace-team bib only if you can sustain that pace.

Guilty as charged. I admit it. I’ve twice worn a pace-team bib to finish a marathon within some duration, only to fall behind. I won’t do that again. First, at least for me, it’s too much pressure. Second, it’s disappointing to others when they ask you whether you are on that pace and you have to tell them that you’ve fallen off the pace.

4. Please don’t pretend that you did not see the queue for the portable toilets.

I know. You have to go. Badly. But so do the rest of us. And we’ve been waiting in the portable-toilets queue for five or ten minutes or more. Now you step past all of us and jump through the just-swung-open doorway of a portable toilet as if you did not see us all in the queue. Remember: What goes around, comes around. And I’m not talking about portable toilets. They don’t swirl.

5. Please bathe before the race.

Okay, you’re right. After you’ve been in a portable toilet, you may not smell your freshest. And, you’re also right that running or walking a marathon brings out certain aromas. But you could at least bathe before showing up for the start of the race. After all, we’re all going to be in pretty close quarters for several minutes before the starting gun is fired.

6. Please don’t put on perfume or cologne before the race.

This is the flip-side of #5. Yes, marathons are a great way to meet healthy, attractive men and women. But, they’re not the place to go overboard with perfume or cologne. Marathons are inherently stressful enough without your triggering our gag reflex because you wanted to smell super-good “just in case” you meet someone. A bath? Yes. Perfume or cologne? No.

7. Please be quiet during the national anthem and prayer.

Even if you don’t feel patriotic, please respect those of us who want to hear the national anthem being sung or played before the race. You could pretend that you’re at the Olympics, you’ve just won, and they’re playing the national anthem for you, okay? And, even if you don’t feel prayerful or don’t share the particular sentiments being spoken, please take those few moments during the prayer to feel grateful and to visualize about the upcoming race.

8. Please stop playing with your cellphone.

We’re here to run and walk together in a shared event, not to bury our attentions with our cellphones. Tell your friend or family member where and when you expect to be next, that you love him or her, and that you have to go, and then put away your cellphone. We fellow marathoners want you off the phone and looking up — first, because it’s kind of nice to chat with one another — face to face — before such a momentous trial of human endurance and spirit, and, second, because we don’t want you in the way, distracted by your cellphone when the starting gun is fired!

9. Please check your shoelaces before we start.

First, do it for yourself. There’s nothing like the “Oh, crap!” realization right after you cross the start line that one of your shoes is untied. Second, do it for the rest of us. There’s nothing like the “Ouch!” feeling when one of us accidentally kicks you in the back as you stop and squat right in front of us to tie your shoe. I’ve seen this. It’s not pretty.

I Had to Write This

At the risk of ruining my “Mr. Nice Guy” reputation (Did you notice that “Please” started every item?), I had to put these in writing. Part of the joy of completing a marathon is sharing the experience with lots of other athletes. “Sharing is caring,” as the expression goes, and caring for your fellow marathoners can go a long way to keep you from being known as “that guy” or “that gal” on the marathon circuit (if there is such a thing as a “marathon circuit” for most of us).

Up Next: During the Race

This is the first of three articles about things your fellow marathoners won’t tell you. The next one will be about things they won’t tell you DURING the race. In the mean time, what do you think about this first list? Did I go overboard, did I overlook something, or is this list just right? Please post your comment below. Thanks!