Happiness and Favorites

Happiness and favorites go together like bread and butter, like Tom and Jerry, or like strawberries and cream (if you’re at Wimbledon).

But, what is that advice that parents often give children?

“Don’t play favorites!”

You hear them give this advice when their children are going to be picking teams for softball or some other sport.

Parents say this with the best of intentions. They want their children to be kind to other children.

To me, though, the problem with this advice is that it becomes generalized in our subconscious minds. Not playing favorites when it comes to picking teams for a sport during childhood can become generalized to not playing favorites in all aspects of one’s life in adulthood.

The topic of favorites came up yesterday morning in my group training program’s twelve-miler. My training buddies and I noticed the race jersey worn by a man running by us. It was from the 4 the Park race, a four-mile fundraiser for Memorial Park Conservancy in Houston. One of my training buddies said to the rest of us that her adolescent daughter had run that race and loves to wear her 4 the Park jersey as much as possible.

My training buddy then admitted that one of her favorite jerseys is a red one given in 2013 to finishers of Chevron Houston Marathon. I agreed with her because I like the loose collar. She added that part of why she likes it is that it has a thinner fabric than most other race jerseys.

We then talked about the most recent jersey from that same marathon and all agreed that we did not like that one because of its unusual fit.

After I got home, I went to my closet to look at my collection of running jerseys that I have hanging there. I have seven or so on hangers. The remaining dozens are compressed into a Space Bag that lies under my bed, waiting for the day that I ask a dear friend of ours to sew them into a quilt.

I was surprised to see that this “favorite” jersey of mine was NOT hanging among the jerseys that I wear these days, and this surprise got me thinking about this topic of happiness and favorites.

The fact that I intentionally had put away a jersey from a couple of years ago that was one of my favorites — instead of leaving it hanging in my closet and putting some other, less-liked jersey away — made me realize that I had fallen prey to the “Don’t play favorites!” advice heard in childhood.

When I put away a hanging jersey that I did not like so much and hung in its place this favorite of mine, so that I could start wearing it regularly again, I became happier.

This leads me to questions for you:

• Are you wearing what you love to wear on your runs?
• Are you running with the people with whom you love to run?
• Are you shopping at your favorite running store?
• Are you doing the cross-training that you love?

In other words, are you playing favorites?

If you’re not, then here’s a challenging question for you AND me:

Why not?!

For example…

• Why are you putting away the running jerseys that you most love to wear?
• Why are you not making time to run with your favorite people?
• Why are you shopping where you don’t enjoy it?
• Why are you cross-training with exercises that you don’t love?

It’s your FAVORITES that you bring you joy, right?

Here’s a simple challenge for you to start playing favorites again: Take a minute to look in your chest of drawers for a favorite jersey that you had sequestered away. Maybe you did this because you did not want to wear it “too much” or wear it out, or maybe you thought that you had to move on to the latest jersey, even though it was ugly or did not fit well.

Why not instead wear out your favorite jersey? Why not instead wear something from a few years back, even though it is not the newest, because you LOVE it?

Next, extend this challenge to a thought experiment to identify your favorite training partners (for example, because they have a pace similar to yours) and your favorite places to run (for example, because the streets are relatively flat).

[Tweet “Favorite people, places, and things are what bring happiness to your running, so play favorites!”]

What are some of YOUR favorites? Please post your answer in a comment below!